I have a wonderful dogsitter named Bonnie. She takes my two little furry nuggets on walks, lets them out to potty, and when she’s at the house for extended periods, she does dishes, makes the bed, and takes out the trash. She’s pretty fantastic and everyone should have a Bonnie. Recently, I walked into the house after work and she still happened to be there. We made small talk as she sat down on the couch. Her face was very serious and her tentative body language said something was ...read more
Testing Friends (or Why Am I So Self-Centered)
Jeff and Nancy are dear friends of mine. We’ve been friends for nearly a decade. We met as co-workers and have become closer in the years after my leaving our mutual employer. But, friendship isn’t easy. I’m not easy. A while back, I invited Jeff and Nancy over for dinner. They decided they’d bring Chinese takeout and meet me at my place the next night around 6:00. The next day, I’m between clients and I get a text from Jeff. He and Nancy are at my house, and wondering how far away I ...read more
Meal Train for the Brokenhearted
From time to time I receive invites for Meal Train. If you aren’t familiar with it, it is an online service that provides the opportunity to take meals to someone in need. A friend or family member will create a Meal Train for someone recovering from a recent hospital stay, an injury, or has a new baby. It's an excellent service and keeps the well-wishers on a schedule, and keeps the new mom from receiving five lasagnas on Tuesday. It's an efficient way to organize care and be of service. ...read more
Suffering and Acceptance
I work with beautiful souls that are suffering for many different reasons. I choose to walk alongside others to assist with the relief of pain and suffering because I believe in healing. Sometimes, I witness those I care about get stuck in pain, fall back into old patterns, freeze, run, or give up. I fall victim to my own unproductive cycles at times when suffering is great. It’s part of being human. I had a friend years ago that I was lucky to cross paths with and he taught me an invaluable ...read more
Victimization and Finding True North
Many years ago, I was struggling to set my world upright after a devastating emotional earthquake and the relational aftershocks. As the flashbacks of abuse came like a foreign invader into my world, I didn’t know who to trust. Or, how to trust. As I worked with a counselor to steady myself, I found my capacity to perceive my experiences were not 20/20. My counselor was kind, patient, and skilled at knowing how to reset my equilibrium. She once gave me this homework: Whatever you would ...read more
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