After an hour of the usual routine to get back to sleep, I'm still awake at 2 a.m. Resigned that I'm up for a while, there are some things I’d like to get done. I grab my computer (yes, counselors make bad life choices) and I poke around on my To Do list. While researching some info, an advertisement pops up for yarn. Such an innocent little ad. No big deal. Just some hand-spun, white angora heavenliness. The part of me that lives solely to stash copious amount of yarn clicks on the ...read more
Binkies, Blankees, and Other Adult Dependencies
Why is this so ridiculously awkward? This shouldn't be so stinking hard. Sheesh, woman, relax why don't ya!? Use your tools. Ok, I can do this. Breathe. Long, deep, gentle breath. I can't breathe! I’m sitting alone at a table in the front window of my favorite pancake slinging spot. This Saturday morning, like many Saturday mornings, the lobby is filled with a multitude of folks who appear not to have bothered to grab a comb or change out of their pajamas before deciding to venture out in ...read more
Crazy is Easier
When clients first visit with me they often ask, “Am I crazy?” They are asking the question in all seriousness. They’ll tell me more of their story and ask again, “Am I crazy? You’d tell me, right?” For some, the question is asked because the choices they’ve made seem utterly unreasonable. The things they’ve done to themselves seem outrageous and irrational. For others, the things that have been done to them are truly unbelievable. My response over and over is, “You’re not crazy, you’re ...read more
What Christians Need to Know
Many years ago I went to see a pastor in the depth of my despair. As my life bottomed out, I needed help freeing myself from the pain and shame of years of childhood abuse. I tried to explain I had been sexually abused as a little girl. The pastor’s first question was, “was there penetration?” Then, I tried to explain the flashbacks and was told, “the devil is talking to you”. This, my friends, is Exhibit A in the “Not At All Helpful” category. I don’t believe Christian ministry leaders ...read more
Why I Love Porn
A new magazine shows up in the mail. I love the way my heart races and I get a bit woozy right after I pull it out of the mailbox. I make sure there’s nothing to distract me, relax into my favorite chair, and open the pages slowly. Two hours are gone before I know what’s happened. The next day, I resolve not to get sucked into the compulsive vortex. I’m determined not to spend one more cent on the stuff. Then, WHAM! An email shows up with photos of exactly the material I like, or a salacious ...read more