Hedman Counseling Center

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My Truth?

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When important, meaningful words or phrases in counseling/recovery/psychology start to take on twisted pop culture meaning, I can lose it a bit. For those who have spent time in my office, you know how I feel about the use of words like “boundaries” or “narcissist” when spoken flippantly. By repeating cultural lingo, the true power of these words and their meaning is cheapened. The same goes for the phrase “my truth”. “My truth” once meant that I acknowledge that the way I see something ...read more

Filed Under: Aversion, Connection, Counseling, Fear, Shame, Vulnerability

Everything We Make Up

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Something I help clients learn is how to utilize the phrase, “what I make up about that is.....” Much of what we think and say is “made up”. The stories we make up aren’t about lying. Lying has a different intention. The stories we make up are about how we have filled in the blanks. The difficulty is we present these details as fact. They aren’t. They are truly “what we make up”. It can seem reasonable because we are very familiar with a specific historical pattern. So, we make the ...read more

Filed Under: Codependency, Connection, Counseling, Fear, Tara Hedman, Trauma, Vulnerability

The Stories We Make Up (or How to Screw Up Relationships)

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I have a wonderful dogsitter named Bonnie. She takes my two little furry nuggets on walks, lets them out to potty, and when she’s at the house for extended periods, she does dishes, makes the bed, and takes out the trash. She’s pretty fantastic and everyone should have a Bonnie. Recently, I walked into the house after work and she still happened to be there. We made small talk as she sat down on the couch. Her face was very serious and her tentative body language said something was ...read more

Filed Under: Connection, Featured, For Fun, Tara Hedman, Vulnerability

Testing Friends (or Why Am I So Self-Centered)

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Jeff and Nancy are dear friends of mine. We’ve been friends for nearly a decade. We met as co-workers and have become closer in the years after my leaving our mutual employer. But, friendship isn’t easy. I’m not easy. A while back, I invited Jeff and Nancy over for dinner. They decided they’d bring Chinese takeout and meet me at my place the next night around 6:00. The next day, I’m between clients and I get a text from Jeff. He and Nancy are at my house, and wondering how far away I ...read more

Filed Under: Connection, Forgiveness, Tara Hedman, Vulnerability

When Feeling Joy Requires Courage

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When life is filled with pain, betrayal, and heartache, it takes great courage to allow joy. When anger and fear are the feelings primarily modeled for us, they become the essential building blocks of our emotional DNA. We understand pain and shame. They are expected. We know how to behave and what to anticipate when unenjoyable feelings are on the scene. The first time I became aware that joy was difficult to accept, I was about to leave on vacation. At the time, I was working for a ...read more

Filed Under: Codependency, Connection, Tara Hedman, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

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