Jeff and Nancy are dear friends of mine. We’ve been friends for nearly a decade. We met as co-workers and have become closer in the years after my leaving our mutual employer. But, friendship isn’t easy. I’m not easy. A while back, I invited Jeff and Nancy over for dinner. They decided they’d bring Chinese takeout and meet me at my place the next night around 6:00. The next day, I’m between clients and I get a text from Jeff. He and Nancy are at my house, and wondering how far away I ...read more
Suffering and Acceptance
I work with beautiful souls that are suffering for many different reasons. I choose to walk alongside others to assist with the relief of pain and suffering because I believe in healing. Sometimes, I witness those I care about get stuck in pain, fall back into old patterns, freeze, run, or give up. I fall victim to my own unproductive cycles at times when suffering is great. It’s part of being human. I had a friend years ago that I was lucky to cross paths with and he taught me an invaluable ...read more
When Feeling Joy Requires Courage
When life is filled with pain, betrayal, and heartache, it takes great courage to allow joy. When anger and fear are the feelings primarily modeled for us, they become the essential building blocks of our emotional DNA. We understand pain and shame. They are expected. We know how to behave and what to anticipate when unenjoyable feelings are on the scene. The first time I became aware that joy was difficult to accept, I was about to leave on vacation. At the time, I was working for a ...read more
Why We Like Likes: Choosing Moments Over Memories
I recently read an article about a couple whose gender reveal party didn’t go as planned. The balloon store made an error. They used bright, mixed balloons instead of pink or blue. The mother-to-be ends up in tears and the father-to-be begins cursing. They rectify the situation, and re-enact the scene with the correct color of party supplies for the camera. When the experience of recording an event becomes more essential than experiencing the event, we have risen to the level of PhD in ...read more
Sight Without Vision: What We Don’t See
The Dr. asked me to close my eyes as he slid my first pair of glasses past my 5th grade ears and onto my nose. He requested I look out the window as I open my eyes. Blinking repeatedly, I looked out across Lincoln Avenue onto the bricks of the old Union Bank across the street. Individual bricks were suddenly visible as was mortar between them. A stunning view. Colors, shapes, and textures came into focus. Even as I write this, I can remember the sensation that ran through my ...read more