Spiritual abuse comes in many forms. It can be subtle or overt. It's damaging regardless of the shape it takes. Most spiritual abuse isn’t the sort that gets news coverage. When children are taken from their homes because a cult leader has sexually abused them in the name of God, it’s easy to call it spiritual abuse. But, it’s the more subtle, mainstream abuse that's widespread. A recent conversation with a friend caused me to consider how to better define and outline spiritual abuse. As ...read more
Shut Up In The Name of Jesus
Have you ever been told to shut up in the name of Jesus? Have you ever been on the receiving end of a conversation being told to zip your lip by the power of the Holy Spirit? It happens on the radio, in line at the coffee shop, in church or ministry staff meetings, and at family dinners. Let’s call the manipulative, cliché, controlling, nonsense what it is: spiritual abuse. When someone in a place of power uses their spiritual position to dominate another person, it's spiritual abuse. ...read more
Is It Time For A Relational Upgrade?
The appliances in my kitchen are 24 years old. I've decided new appliances now ensures a reasonable price rather than buying in a melting emergency when the refrigerator eventually and inevitably buys the farm. The sales guy shows me dishwashers that scrub stemware in billowy diamond suds and a refrigerator that lands the space shuttle while keeping food cold. After 20 minutes of my continual, “I don’t think I need it to do that,” I can sense his defeat. To give you an idea of the level of ...read more
Is Your Podiatrist a Christian?
The client has been coming to sessions with me for several months when he asks, "Are you a Christian?" I respond, “Is that something that’s important to you?” He explains, “I have a friend who has asked if my counselor is a Christian. It’s kind of a big deal to him.” “What did you tell him?” "I told him I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but I'm feeling better since starting to see you. I told them that you were ‘Christian Enough.’" ...read more
Crazy is Easier
When clients first visit with me they often ask, “Am I crazy?” They are asking the question in all seriousness. They’ll tell me more of their story and ask again, “Am I crazy? You’d tell me, right?” For some, the question is asked because the choices they’ve made seem utterly unreasonable. The things they’ve done to themselves seem outrageous and irrational. For others, the things that have been done to them are truly unbelievable. My response over and over is, “You’re not crazy, you’re ...read more