There’s a pervasive belief that is destroying hearts and lives. A certainty that emotions are morally wrong, and feelings such as anger and fear are the problem. Joy and love are touted as holy, but pain and shame represent a black mark on your character. I find this to be true specifically within certain Christian cultures. The idea is that feelings are the problem and if we could only conquer those nasty moods we’d be just fine, thank you very much. Feelings are to be ...read more
When Feeling Joy Requires Courage
When life is filled with pain, betrayal, and heartache, it takes great courage to allow joy. When anger and fear are the feelings primarily modeled for us, they become the essential building blocks of our emotional DNA. We understand pain and shame. They are expected. We know how to behave and what to anticipate when unenjoyable feelings are on the scene. The first time I became aware that joy was difficult to accept, I was about to leave on vacation. At the time, I was working for a ...read more
Blessed Are the Merciful
Clients teach me powerful lessons everyday. The best education has come from listening to their experiences and hopes. One particular example still leaves me all verklempt. What should have been a quick kidney stone surgery with a few days of recovery became two surgeries, raging infection, and more than three weeks out of my mind and out of the office. ...read more
18 Ways to Fight Election Fatigue and Other ‘Hopeless’ Situations
Listening to the doom, waning hope, and frustrations about the upcoming election #election2016, I boomerang back to one thing each time. Responsibility. I’m not talking about the “get your ass in gear” or “cowboy up” (is that really a thing?) kind of responsibility. I’m speaking of influence. Where do we and don’t we have influence? What choices do we make each day? When we feel stuck or trapped, movement is always the key. Even contemplating movement can contain the whisperings of ...read more
Political Sparring: Why We love It
The thing I’m observing this election year more than ever before, is the grand-scale political sparring. There is an epic game of emotional hide and seek taking place behind all that rhetoric. I grew up in a home that had a very similar emotional environment for most of my formative years. The intensity around religion and politics was overwhelming. There was no gray. Certainly not fifty shades. I could explain the absolute ‘right' and ‘wrong' position on any ...read more
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