What makes a person ready to reconcile? While it largely depends on the person and specifics of the situation, I created a visual about how I imagine this process works. I compare this process to building a doorway or opening in a brick wall. In ancient cities, there traditionally was the main entry point that acted as the key to a city. The walls are designed to protect the city, and the doorway is designed for the city to be selective about who enters it. Stories tell of a particular door ...read more
Reconciliation? Part I
Has someone ever really hurt you? ...Yea, me too. I also know I’ve been the one to do the hurting. Eventually, I became curious about the word, “forgiveness.” I’ve had a difficult time knowing where the step of reconciliation fits in the forgiveness process, or if it fits in at all. I can think of plenty of examples where reconciliation is not possible: when the perpetrator is not remorseful, no longer living, or is unwilling to change the hurtful action. Surely, I thought, reconciliation ...read more
Sand, S’mores, and Sunglasses (at night)
Every summer I spend two weeks on the coast. Most years, a friend will join me for the first week. The rest of the vacation it’s just me, waves, whales, and an abundant supply of audiobooks. One night during last year’s vacation it was late and my friend and I were the only two left on the beach as we were drowning out our fire to head back to the car. Two men walked out from behind a bend in the rocks and were approaching. We convinced ourselves (rather quickly, I might add) that we were ...read more
Feelings are the Devil
There’s a pervasive belief that is destroying hearts and lives. A certainty that emotions are morally wrong, and feelings such as anger and fear are the problem. Joy and love are touted as holy, but pain and shame represent a black mark on your character. I find this to be true specifically within certain Christian cultures. The idea is that feelings are the problem and if we could only conquer those nasty moods we’d be just fine, thank you very much. Feelings are to be considered weakness or ...read more
When Feeling Joy Requires Courage
When life is filled with pain, betrayal, and heartache, it takes great courage to allow joy. When anger and fear are the feelings primarily modeled for us, they become the essential building blocks of our emotional DNA. We understand pain and shame. They are expected. We know how to behave and what to anticipate when unenjoyable feelings are on the scene. The first time I became aware that joy was difficult to accept, I was about to leave on vacation. At the time, I was working for a ...read more
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- Next Page »