For those who have spent time in my office, you know how I feel about the use of words like “boundaries” or “narcissist” when spoken flippantly. By repeating cultural lingo, the true power of these words and their meaning is cheapened.
The same goes for the phrase “my truth”. “My truth” once meant that I acknowledge that the way I see something may be different than the way you perceive it.
This is a beautiful thing. We can see that another person has a different viewpoint without having to dismiss the way we see it from ours.
I now hear “my truth” so often spoken from a highly defended stance. Lacking humility. Lacking desire for connection and understanding.
I hear it said in a heels-dug-in, grandiose, unbendable, defend-my-delusion sort of way.
It’s said in a way that leaves no room for curiosity about another person’s experience. It creates a right vs. wrong viewpoint rather than “perhaps we see this differently and can respect the others’ perspectives”.
When we have “our truth” from behind a wall of protected justification, we lose the authenticity of exploring life with others. We lose the opportunity to look at ourselves and see where our lens is skewed. We lose the beauty of discovery.
I was once so sure of myself. I would have told you (and probably did) that my truth was THE truth and anything else was asinine. And I meant it! That anything outside of my perspective was simply wrong. Black and white.
Real life showed up and kicked my ass. And, oh Lordy, am I glad it did. Now, with 17 years between me and my universal ass-kicking, the freedom to explore, listen, consider, and get curious delights me to no end.
Now, my truth is, “I know some stuff, and it’s likely that may change as I grow.”
My truth is, “I want to learn and grow and trust and love with others.”
My truth is, “your truth may be a more accurate assessment and I’m willing to consider it.”
There is a significant difference between being wishy-washy and being open.
Words matter! The words we choose have meaning! Let’s get curious again!
That’s my truth on this Friday night.