The client has been coming to sessions with me for several months when he asks, "Are you a Christian?" I respond, “Is that something that’s important to you?” He explains, “I have a friend who has asked if my counselor is a Christian. It’s kind of a big deal to him.” “What did you tell him?” "I told him I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but I'm feeling better since starting to see you. I told them that you were ‘Christian Enough.’" ...read more
Dead Wood
In my front yard is a 20-year-old silverleaf maple tree. It’s beautiful in the spring when the new buds pop through with their green and yellow spouts. It’s stunning in the fall with its blazing orange and red leaves. In the summer it creates privacy for my bedroom and shade from the intense Colorado sun. Last year, about ¾ of the tree never produced a leaf. I had the tree guys come look at her. They did tests and some root examination, and charged me quite a lot, I might add. They left me ...read more
Reframing Fat
There were several stories in the news this week about sexual abuse and several other stories about weight and body size. In both places I read the articles, I feel they got it wrong. Sure, they got the facts right, but they missed the story. And the story is where the message lives. The reason I know they got it wrong is because I’m intimately familiar with both subjects. I have been overweight my entire life, and I survived years of childhood sexual abuse. Perhaps there seems to be no ...read more
What is beauty? -Part 1
How complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy People Magazine has the highest advertising revenue of any magazine in the U.S, and a readership of over 45 million. A few weeks ago, the annual 100 Most Beautiful People list was published. By beautiful, they mean physically. They make that clear, because they also have a list of those who are pretty, but have a crooked nose, big thighs, etc. Yep, they really do. As I listened to the radio personalities discuss the ...read more
Pain and Pretending
Three weeks ago today I woke up at 3 am with kidney stones. If you’ve never had kidney stones, you’re probably thinking, “that’s too bad, I hear kidney stones are painful”. However, if you have had kidney stones, right about now your Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is kicking in and your having flashbacks of excruciating, mind-numbing agony. You’re starting to sweat; the room is beginning to spin. You’re nauseas and fear is streaming through your veins. …It’s ok. Breathe. It’s only a memory. ...read more